PROOF!

Sixth graders are smarter than algore!

Global warming on trial

Humans don’t cause global warming, a jury of sixth graders at Trail Ridge Middle School concluded Thursday after hearing opposing arguments from their peers.

“They’re pretty young for this kind of thinking. They did great,” paleontology teacher Ken Poppe said after the 40-minute “trial” in his classroom.

With Earth’s warming accepted as a tenet, pre-teen “lawyers” and “scientists” debated whether humans have caused it.

Eleven jurors listened intently as prosecutors and defendants flashed contradictory graphs tracking global temperatures, carbon dioxide levels, polar ice cap statistics, volcanic activity and sea surface temperatures — all of which were found Wednesday in the school’s computer lab.

Guilt Offsets

Total Kaos Guilt Offsets Now On Sale!!

On the heels of one of the zaniest scams Dave and I have ever heard of, I. E. Al Gore’s Carbon credits, we here at Total Kaos are now prepared to offer Total Kaos Guilt Offsets.

Yes, for a limited time only, it will be possible for you or a loved one to purchase from the Total Kaos crew any number of credits good towards alleviating whatever guilt type you may be experiencing.

Finally, a simple, full proof method that will wash away forever all those uncomfortable stressful feelings.

Do you have ‘white guilt’? Are you embarrassed due to your oppressive role in keeping the black man down? We’ve got the answer. Simply call now to 718-664-9588 and one of our operators will be glad to get you on that first step towards Narcissistic pale skinned freedom. At only $250 an hour , reparations never felt so good!

(snicker)

H/T: The Discerning Texan

Evening Snack

Support grows for Gonzales despite new evidence

The White House and a key Republican senator reaffirmed support today for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales even as Democrats questioned his credibility for apparently misrepresenting his role in firing eight federal prosecutors.

I’ll be perfectly honest, I don’t feel about Gonzales one way or the other, but I do believe the Dems are making a big whoopdedo out of absolutely nothing. Their target isn’t Gonzales, it’s Bush, and it always has been.

N.Y. Police Spied Broadly Before G.O.P. Convention

For at least a year before the 2004 Republican National Convention, teams of undercover New York City police officers traveled to cities across the country, Canada and Europe to conduct covert observations of people who planned to protest at the convention, according to police records and interviews.

And? The problem? They act like this is something new. It’s called precaution, public safety. There are some serious nutjobs out there that could, and would, do serious harm if given the chance.

Police told Blair would resign if cautioned

Scotland Yard has, however, not ruled out interviewing Mr Blair for a third time if there is important new evidence to put to him. It is even possible that, as the inquiry drags on, Mr Blair could be interviewed – possibly as a suspect – after he steps down as Prime Minister in some three months.

It never ends. Is there one person in public life who is above reproach? I’m beginning to think no matter what a person does, or does not do, there will be a black cloud over his, or her, head.

‘John Adams’ miniseries to cast again for extras

HBO’s “John Adams” miniseries plans to hold another open call for extras today in Richmond.

The open call is slated to run from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Regency Square Mall on Parham Road in Richmond, according to the Virginia Film Office. The Adams project especially needs men with a slim build who are between 15 and 50 years old.

Wanna be a star? 🙂

3 men sought in shootings

Two Milwaukee men are being treated for multiple gunshot wounds they suffered following an argument late Saturday afternoon on Teutonia Ave., near Finn Place, on Milwaukee’s north side, police reported.

The men, 27 and 20, were each shot three times, police said. Both are in stable condition at Froedtert Hospital in Wauwatosa, police said. Police are searching for three men.

What does that make the count so far this year? Milwaukee is turning into a war zone, and there doesn’t seem to be anyone in charge.

Small plane crashes in Md., 3 dead

A small plane crashed in a wooded suburban area Saturday, killing three people in the aircraft, a Baltimore County fire spokeswoman said.

I use to want to learn to fly, but I’m not too crazy about heights. Prayers with the families.

Insurgents shoot down plane over Mogadishu

The Belarussian plane, with 11 people on board, was hit by a rocket shortly after takeoff from Mogadishu airport and crashed in the capital’s northern Karan neigbourhood, Somali government spokesman Hussein Mohamed Muhamoud said.

I do believe the world has totally gone insane.

What I Saw Today

I saw many baby future steak on the hoof:

There were quite a few of these squished in the middle of the road:

And a few of these:

Then, there were fields and fields of these:

The great thing about staying off the interstates, you get to see lots of things you wouldn’t ordinarily. The number of antique stores with rusted stuff sitting outside was amazing. One oddity…. for a change, it was me passing everyone on the road. And I was doing the speed limit. Cops seem to be REAL serious about enforcement. Criminy, there were a lot of ’em.

Morning Coffee 3/24/07

Future unclear for Nashville U.S. attorney, other appointees

Craig Morford is one of 15 prosecutors who took office after appointment by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales but without Senate confirmation. Morford, based in Nashville, didn’t replace any of the eight fired U.S. attorneys whose cases prompted the congressional action, and the Justice Department is declining to comment on his future.

I’m curious. Why is the president granted the power to appoint attorneys, but if Congress doesn’t like them, then they’re out? Seems to me that puts too much power into Congress’ hands. I’m getting very confused.

‘Capture of UK sailors response to Iranian officers’ arrest’

The decision to capture British sailors in the Persian Gulf was reached by the Iranian General Staff six days ago in response to the arrest of Iranian officers by US forces in Iraq, an Iranian military official said.

Interesting.

ID law creates rush for licenses

In Milwaukee, as in other parts of the state, a stream of illegal immigrants is dashing to get Wisconsin identification cards and driver’s licenses before April 1, when a new state law will require proof of legal residency in the United States to get them. Wisconsin has been one of only about 10 states that does not require such proof to get a state ID or driver’s license.

What rocket scientist came up with the idea of allowing ILLEGALS to get a driver’s license? The word is illegal, as in breaking the law. Shouldn’t they have cops waiting to arrest them, instead of basically giving them legal status?

Egyptian President Rebuffs U.N. Chief on Darfur

Appearing resigned to the rejection, Mr. Ban said, “I expect that President Mubarak and other leaders in the region will take their time and look at this issue more seriously so that the efforts of the United Nations and the African Union can address this issue as soon as possible.”

I wonder how many people will die while these folks are sitting on their thumbs.

Guantanamo Prison Likely to Stay Open Through Bush Term

The Guantanamo facility has long been a focus of international and domestic criticism. Other governments have protested the indefinite imprisonment of their nationals without adjudication. Civil rights groups have called the detentions illegal and cited prisoner’s limited access to outside legal counsel and evidence against them. Human rights organizations have alleged the use of torture during interrogations.

Perhaps the human rights folks would like to take these nice fellas home with them? Seems no one else wants them.

Ahmabooboo Roaring

Iran: Soldiers Confessed to Illegally Entering Waters

The Iranian military questioned 15 detained British soldiers Saturday and said they confessed to illegally entering the country’s territorial waters as Iran accused Britain of “blatant aggression.”

Of course, the nice Iranians would never lie, would they?

“The said personnel are being interrogated and have confessed to aggression into the Islamic Republic of Iran’s waters,” Afshar was quoted as saying by the state news agency IRNA and the semi-official ISNA news agency. He did not say what would now be done with the sailors.

Oh yeah, I can see it now. A few sailors floating in a little rubber boat, acting all bad. This is the British we’re talking about here. Politeness, plus “by the book”, is in their genes!

The seizure of the British sailors came at a time of heightened tensions over Tehran’s nuclear ambitions and allegations that Iran is arming Shiite Muslim militias in Iraq. Still, Britain was treating it as a mistake rather than a provocation.

I guess the ‘Booboo needed another dog and pony show. Let the world know he’s the toughest hombre on the block.

But the latest detention sparked calls among Iranian hardliners for the 15 Britons to be held until Iran wins political concessions from the West.

No, that will not do at all! These are our allies here, you mess with them, you’re messing with us. Oh, wait a minute, Pelosi is in charge…..never mind.

In his comments on the sailors, Afshar added a warning that the United States would not be able to control the consequences if it attacks Iran.

“The United States and its allies know that if they make any mistake in their calculations … they will not be able to control the dimensions and limit the duration of a war,” Afshar said.

I guess we know who’s boss, eh?